From the first meeting to the first step: the small victories of mentoring

In the RomniME project, small, fragile moments mark the beginning of transformation for young Roma women navigating isolation, prejudice, and limited opportunities. Behind each hesitant step lies profound strength—and the quiet beginnings of self-belief.

Change does not always come with a bang. Sometimes it is quiet, hesitant and fragile – like a hand raised for the first time, a whispered “maybe” or a simple “yes” to an invitation to a conversation. But behind these seemingly small gestures lies enormous inner courage. And it deserves to be recognised.

The RomniME project works with young Roma women who often find themselves in situations of social isolation, lack of access to education or healthcare, early marriages or restrictions from the family. Many of them also carry the weight of external labels – “uneducated”, “passive”, “uninterested” – words that over time become inner voices. That is why the beginning is so delicate. And so important.

The first meeting: when silence says it all

During the first personal conversation with a mentor, some girls hardly speak. Their gaze is on the ground. The answers – monosyllabic. Sometimes they do not come at all. But the mentors know: silence is also communication. It says “I don’t know you”, “I don’t know if I can trust you”, “I’ve been promised change several times, and then they just forgot about me”.

And when at the next meeting the girl asks: “When will we see each other again?”, this is a huge breakthrough. A small step outside the protective shell. An inner victory.

The joint meeting as a new space

Many of the girls who join the project meetings have never been in such an environment. They don’t know what to expect. Sometimes they don’t believe they have the right to ask questions. A simple act – joining a group conversation or expressing an opinion – requires more courage than many of us imagine.

“When a girl said: ‘But I’m good at drawing!’ and smiled for the first time, I knew that this was a breakthrough moment”, shares one of the mentors.

The ability to recognize your value, even in just one skill or talent, is an important first step to greater confidence.

 The victories that remain invisible to statistics

Change often cannot be measured in numbers. When she requests contact with a training course. When she dares to talk about wanting something more.

These actions are not marked with diplomas. They do not go on reports. But they are essential markers of growth. They show that the inner voice is no longer whispering only doubt, but is starting to say: “I can. I want. I will try.”

What can we learn from them?

Perhaps the most valuable reminder that the young women at RomniMe give us is that empowerment begins quietly. Before she can “succeed”, a girl must first believe that she has the right to strive. And often that belief comes not from grand speeches, but from small gestures of support, patience, and respect.

In a world that often measures success in degrees, number of followers, or status, these young women show us another measure: the courage to start from yourself, in your own way, at your own pace.

The article was written by the association LIDER from Bulgaria. LIDER is one of the organisations implementing the RomniME project coordinated by the Deaconess Foundation. The project aims to develop a model based on community work and mentoring to improve the well-being and inclusion of young Roma women. The project, which is taking place in Finland, Bulgaria, Italy and Croatia, also aims to identify and combat discrimination experienced by Roma women and girls by improving understanding of the impact of multiple discrimination. The project is co-funded by the Citizens, Equality, Rights and Values Programme of the European Union.